She Who Hunts Monsters
by Mimic Teruyo
Summary: Kogasa, chased down and cornered after three days of anguish, expected the rampaging shrine maiden to end her life swiftly. Surprises abound, both for better and for worse.
1. Merciless Hound Preying in the Night

It was the third night of the hunt, and Kogasa had run out of places to hide.

She trembled under a large bush, her arms wrapped around her knees and her eyes squeezed shut, pretending not seeing others would make others not see her as well. She prayed that the sound of her thumping heart wouldn't give her away.

The sound of footsteps, like thunderclaps in Kogasa's ears, grew louder, then disappeared altogether. Shuddering, Kogasa finally dared to take a peek, and nearly yelped out after seeing just how close the shrine maiden was standing. Her survival instinct barely kicking in, and she pursed her lips as to not allow a single sound escape.

After the initial horror, she peered through the leaves once more, sighing in relief mentally when she realised the shrine maiden had her back turned. The shrine maiden's hair, the colour of fresh blades of grass, fluttered in the breeze, as did her detached sleeves, richly dyed with youkai blood that had seeped into the once snowy fabric.

Kogasa buried her chin in her knees. Why was this happening to her? Why had she chosen to leave the cemetery just in time to cross paths with this exterminating angel of a shrine maiden of all people? Why did things never work out for her? All her life, all she had wanted was a peaceful life, to surprise people like she was put on this earth to do. And yet, her life had been nothing but a string of insults and injuries, culminating in this disastrous moment: wet to the bone, heart in her throat, kneeling on the ground like a frightened child, all with her life hanging by the thread.

The shrine maiden twitched, and Kogasa felt an inexplicable urge to jump out of hiding and yell "Surprise!"

She didn't, her need for self-preservation saving her once more. Instead she tore her gaze away, letting it fall on her own hands. Her knuckles were white from the pressure she applied to the umbrella's handle. Why wouldn't the shrine maiden leave? Had she, by some hideous coincidence, decided to take a break from the hunt just in front of Kogasa's hiding spot? Had she already spotted Kogasa and was now just toying with her like a cat with a captured mouse?

She scrunched up her eyes again, no longer able to bear the sight of the dreadful world. There was nothing left for her save for what there had always been: prayer and hope. She clung to these two lifelines, reciting in her mind the names of every single deity she could remember, hoping against hope one of them would hear out her squeaky prayers and show mercy. She didn't want to die yet. Not before one successful surprise.

She heard a rustling sound and looked up despite herself, only to see the hem of a dark blue skirt. Looking up revealed the rest of the shrine maiden, holding a gohei in one hand and using the other to hold up one of thick branches of the bush. Her horrible, scalding gaze was fixed on Kogasa's face; her mouth was a firm line, its meaning unreadable. Kogasa's world froze.

"This is the end of the line."

As soon as those leaden words sunk through her skull into her petrified mind, Kogasa swallowed, knowing it really was the end. In a way, she was almost relieved; the constant pursuit had driven her beyond exhaustion, and while she feared death, she feared the continuation of the hunt almost as much.

Of course, she could fight back...make it a memorable last stand. But what was the point? There was no one around to go and spread the tale of her demise. She herself most certainly couldn't, and she doubted the green-haired shrine maiden in front of her would remember any of this for longer than a few days. Wasn't she nothing more but hapless prey to her? Heck, was she anything other than that to anyone?

"Well?" the shrine maiden said, her voice steely and void of emotion. Kogasa noted hazily the dark circles around her eyes. She wasn't the only one who hadn't been sleeping properly.

She did nothing to resist the iron grip that grabbed her by the collar and flung her on the wet grass none too gently, focusing her attention on clutching her umbrella. She lazily turned onto her back, her eyes still shut. Why bother trying? She had seen what had happened to those preceding her in this situation, friends and enemies, acquaintances and strangers alike: no matter how they had reacted, whether they had hissed and clawed at everything they could reach, struggled to escape, or laughed jovially, cracking jokes until the last moment, they had all gone down the same way. A small sigh came out of Kogasa. At least she wouldn't be alone wherever she was going.

She heard the shrine maiden crouch down next to her, felt a surprisingly light hand land on her shoulder to hold her in place. It tickled. Kogasa suppressed a giggle, overcome by a sudden mirth for how easy giving up was. No more hiding, no more struggling against sleep as tantalising as it was lethal, no more failures. It was only death, after all, nothing to fear about, she had yet to see the shrine maiden actually extinguish anyone's soul. Surely she'd cross the river, and while her virtues were few, so were her sins. She would survive, in one form or another.

Kogasa sighed feebly and made herself more comfortable, waiting for the final blow. Maybe next time, she'd be a little more successful: maybe next time, she'd be born as some powerful youkai no human could touch. Maybe next time, she'd actually be able to surprise someone.

A faint smile appeared on her lips despite herself. Oh yes, she would get another chance...and her current situation was kind of nice too, just lying down doing nothing...the grass was soft, and the wetness no longer bothered her. Maybe she should have given up earlier? Well, no point thinking about that. Better just stay still and let the shrine maiden exterminate her...speaking of which, the shrine maiden sure was taking her time, wasn't she? Kogasa had expected to be dead by now...

Just then, she heard the shrine maiden let out a long and profound sigh. She frowned and looked up, with a slight twinge of fear at the risk of witnessing the blow that would separate her soul from her body. Her assailant remained crouched down, and staring back down at her, her free arm limp against her body.

"Is something wrong?"

At Kogasa's question, a jolt ran through the shrine maiden's body, and she stared down at Kogasa as is she'd just seen a giant robot rise from the earth. Kogasa herself was no less affected, marvelling at what ever possessed her to speak up at a time such as this. Deep down, she also felt tickled at the look of pained surprise on the shrine maiden's face. If this was to be her final deed, it was one she could recount proudly in front of the enma.

After several long moments, the shrine maiden shook her head wildly. The pressure on Kogasa's shoulder increased.

"I can't just exterminate you when you're lying down waiting me to do it," she mumbled, so quietly Kogasa at first thought she was imagining it. There was an unexpected wretchedness to her tone, a note of despair that made her sound more like quarry than hunter.

"You want me to fight back?" Kogasa asked incredulously, cringing at how loud her voice sounded after the shrine maiden's whisper. "I'd really rather not."

Now it was the shrine maiden's turn to look incredulous. "Do you want to die?"

Kogasa shook her head. "I see no point in resisting the inevitable, that's all." She let her head fall back, tilting her chin upwards the reveal her throat. "You have no reason to spare me and are far stronger than me, so why bother?" She glimpsed at the arm pinning her down. "Add another coat of red to your clothes if you want, but I'm not going to make you feel better by struggling for no reason."

There was another bout of silence. Kogasa half expected the shrine maiden the shrug her shoulders and continue on with the extermination anyway when she heard her breathe out: "I don't want to exterminate you for no reason either."

Kogasa looked up, resisting another mad urge to laugh out loud. "All the more reason not to struggle." Distressing images sprung to her mind, memories of blood and despair. She wasn't the first to not struggle, she was sure of that. Bile rose to her throat.

"No offence, miss Kochiya," she bit, emboldened by her memories and the certainty of her doom, "but that never stopped you before."

No immediate retribution followed. The shrine maiden blinked at her owlishly, grasping for words. She averted her gaze. The pressure on Kogasa's shoulder disappeared. "Now it will. Go."

Kogasa's mouth fell open before she could catch herself. She stared at the shrine maiden, absolutely flabbergasted. "...What?"

"Go." The shrine maiden stood up gingerly, turning away. "You're safe. I won't come after you."

It had to be a trap. It had to be. How many corpses had the shrine maiden left behind during the last three days alone? Was she so enamoured by the chase she wanted it to continue, to allow Kogasa to remain at liberty only to be recaptured, to let her breathe a few precious breaths before tightening the grip around her neck for the final time?

"But why?" Kogasa heard herself asking, and her eyes widened as the shrine maiden visibly flinched at the words. "There will be other youkai to hunt. Just because I'm not running doesn't mean-"

"I don't want to hunt youkai!" the shrine maiden snapped, turning on her heels and facing Kogasa. Whatever response Kogasa had begun to compose in her mind vanished when she saw the shrine maiden was biting her lip.

"I don't want to exterminate you," the shrine maiden continued when no response was forthcoming, hands curled into tight balls. "I don't want to exterminate anyone. I didn't-" she paused to swallow, then continued with downcast eyes. "I want to stop. I want to go back to before _this_," she gestured helplessly at herself, "before this happened. All I want is..." she trailed off, then stared at Kogasa like she only just noticed the karakasa was there. "What are you waiting for? Go!"

Kogasa mustered her courage and looked the shrine maiden in the eye. For the first time ever, she really looked at Sanae Kochiya's face.

It was then that Kogasa surprised even herself.

"Tell me what happened."

Sanae blinked, as if disbelieving what she saw as Kogasa got onto her feet and extended her arm. She stared at the hand offered to her like it had fangs. "What?"

Kogasa found that she couldn't smile, not properly, so instead she took extra care to speak as tenderly as possible. "I don't know what happened beyond what I saw for myself. I'm not..." she faltered here, unaccustomed to this kind of speech, "I don't have a lot of experience at listening, but I can at least try."

"You shouldn't...you're the last person I should burden with...I was trying to kill you, for heaven's sake!" Sanae snapped. There were feebly concealed tears in her voice.

"And I want to know why you didn't." Her stomach fluttered with fear, yet she continued. "I want to know the whole truth. Please." She held her hand further up as Sanae began to tremble in earnest. Was she really offering a helping hand to her worst enemy? Would she really accept a hand stained by the blood of her kin? Guilt and terror rushed through her, like a tidal current sweeping away all before it.

But even they couldn't wash away her overwhelming sense of pity as tears finally began flowing down Sanae's cheeks.


	2. To Understand All

Kogasa knelt down on the riverbank and splashed ample amounts of chilly water on her face, washing away the grime and muck that had clung to her for the past couple of days. The river was swollen after a night and day of nothing but rain, and mud seeped into her dress and shoes through the damp ground, but she was beyond caring. She almost enjoyed it, in fact, hoping that the cold water on her face and feet would be enough to fully wake her up into this strange new reality she had unwittingly entered.

She looked down at her reflection and attempted to flatten her hair the best she could. It was a tangled mess, dripping with water, with bits of grass and twigs sticking out of it. The rest of her was an equally sorry sight, she knew; she desperately needed a change of clothes, ideally preceded by a hot bath and followed by fluffy blankets and a long rest. For now, however, she would live with both the dirt and exhaustion. She could wait.

Sanae, on the other hand, hadn't been able to wait.

As if on cue, there was a momentous splash in the river as Sanae raised herself back above the surface, still fully clothed, her long hair dyed dark green by the water slowly dripping from it. She let her chin fall to her chest and stood in place, still submerged from the waist down. Even from a distance, Kogasa could tell she was shivering.

"Isn't it cold in there?" she asked before she was able to stop herself.

Sanae remained silent. Then, she laboriously raised her gaze towards the dark sky. "It's not cold enough."

Kogasa shrugged and looked at the sky as well. The sea of clouds had finally parted, revealing a velvety night sky moments before the first rays of dawn, stars still visible in the firmament. Daytime belonged to humans, but for the time being, Gensoukyou was the land of the youkai. For the first time in days, she felt her shoulders relax on their own.

After several more minutes, Sanae walked out of the river, face fresh and pink, dripping water everywhere in her wake. Some of the stains on her clothes had been washed away by the stream, but the worst ones still remained, marring her once pristine outfit, perhaps for good. As she approached, Kogasa noticed she was missing her hair ornaments. Had she lost them in the river, or had they been missing even earlier? Kogasa couldn't remember.

Sanae paused a few feet from Kogasa, a contemplative look in her eyes. She then inclined her head and shook it wildly from side to side, spraying droplets of cold water everywhere. Kogasa yelped and attempted to shield herself with with her arms.

"Can't you have done that somewhere else?" she snapped, before realising who she was talking to. "Um, I mean..."

Sanae blinked, eyes hazy, then bowed her head again. "Sorry. I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking."

Kogasa sighed. "It's alright. More importantly," she paused, thinking of the best way to phrase her question, "what do you plan to do now?"

"I don't know." Sanae answered readily, a hint of panic in her voice. She bit her lip. "I mean, I don't really know what I'm supposed to do right now. Or what I even can do, really."

Kogasa hesitated. She still wasn't entirely comfortable with being at such close proximity to Sanae — how could she be, after all she had witnessed and experienced firsthand— but there was no denying the sympathy Sanae's troubled countenance evoked in her. "Maybe it'd help if we talked about it first?"

Sanae was silent for a moment, then gave Kogasa a barely perceptible nod and slumped down next to her, purposefully avoiding her eyes.

Silence reigned. After a while, Kogasa wondered if she ought to say something, but enjoyed the moment of placidity too much to break it. Let Sanae speak first. Perhaps she too needed a moment to gather her thoughts.

Eventually, Sanae did talk, her teeth clattering in rhythm with her words. "The thing is, I don't even now where to begin talking..."

Kogasa very nearly burst into laughter. If someone had told her a week earlier that soon she'd be having a heartfelt tête-à-tête with Sanae Kochiya of all people, and that _she'd_ be the one in charge in the conversation, she would never have stopped giggling about it. But no, this wasn't a laughing matter. Instead, she composed herself and said in a low voice: "You could just start from the beginning. When do you think this all started?"

Sanae raised her knees to her chin and rested her head on them, still shivering, briefly closing her eyes.

"When did this all start?" She slowly reopened her eyes. "Probably the first time I set foot in Gensoukyou."

* * *

Once Sanae started talking, it was like a dam had burst inside her, words streaming forward in a growing torrent. At first, her words were uncertain, her voice so quiet Kogasa struggled to make out everything she said, but as she went on, she became more confident, more intense, more agitated. She soon stopped shivering, and focused entirely on her tale and Kogasa's reactions to her words.

"You already know I'm from the outside world," she began, looking aside, "but it's really important you understand being a shrine maiden there is completely different from being a shrine maiden here. I mean, I was dedicated, but even then there wasn't much to do. There were no incidents, no fighting youkai, nothing like that." Sanae shook her head. "My biggest concern was getting my English grades up. Being a shrine maiden was something that took the backseat most of the time. It only mattered when there was a festival or Lady Kanako wanted to talk about something."

She looked up and finally met Kogasa's eyes for the first time since they had come to the river. "It was only when Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako decided to move the shrine to Gensoukyou when it became serious. There aren't youkai on the outside, not really, not where we lived. There wasn't magic, there were no spell card duels. There were no people who could fly. Everything changed. And there was no-one I could tell how scared I was."

Kogasa raised her eyebrows. "You were scared?"

"Who wouldn't be? Imagine if someone told you you had to go and live in the outside world for the rest of your life."

Kogasa shuddered. "That's different. The outside world's weird and bad for youkai."

"And this world is weird to me and bad for humans. Of course I was scared. I just couldn't show it to anyone."

"Anyone?"

Sanae shook her head. "I think Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako could tell even though I said nothing, but I didn't want to confirm their doubts. I didn't want to let them down by showing weakness. So I decided, the first day I came here, that I never would. I swore an oath to myself. I swore I would never flinch, that no matter how weird things got I'd keep striving forward, that I would do whatever Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako told me to, no matter how scary and bizarre. And then I created a spell card deck, went to solve incidents, and so..."

"You started exterminating youkai," Kogasa said quietly.

Sanae was quiet for a moment. She then nodded. "Yes, I started exterminating youkai."

"Was that scary at first, too?" Kogasa asked after a moment.

"I'm not sure it ever stopped being scary." Sanae fell silent again until she suddenly continued with pressure in her voice: "I won't try to defend myself, but I want you to understand that Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako didn't mean things to go the way they did. They're from the old ages, when exterminating youkai meant exactly that. They couldn't have known it wasn't like that in Gensoukyou anymore. They thought that Gensoukyou was like the world had been back when they were young, and no-one told them otherwise."

Kogasa shook her head. "That still isn't an excuse."

"If you have to blame someone, blame me. I was the idiot who swore an oath to never question their decisions. I'm the one who went through with it when they told me to drive away the rat youkai lurking around the shrine. I'm the one who agreed to use force when he kept coming back. And I'm the one," Sanae gulped and blinked her eyes rapidly. "I'm the one who killed him."

"Did you really have to?"

"Of course I didn't. But Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako said we had to show the youkai we were to be respected. Lady Kanako said no youkai would ever respect a god who didn't have some serious authority behind them, and no god has authority if they don't have power over the lives and deaths of the creatures living nearby. That's how it was in the old days, apparently. Lady Suwako once told me people went to war led by their gods, that she too led her people to victory wielding iron rings. Of course, you're supposed to kill your enemies rather than your own worshippers, but sometimes...sometimes, she said, you have to make an example out of people."

Kogasa shuddered. "Is that how it is in the outside world?"

Sanae shook her head wildly. "No! Not the same way, anyway." She lowered her voice. "But honestly, I think both Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako missed that. They were so pleased with me when I showed them the youkai's corpse. They were nodding and smiling and Lady Kanako even called be an exemplary shrine maiden...To them, it was such a good deed. And yet at the same time, my stomach kept turning because I had seen the youkai's eyes when the light went out of them and..." Sanae bit her lip and remained silent for several moments. "But I kept smiling. I didn't want to look weak. I wanted to show them I was already used to Gensoukyou. That I'm a living god and could serve them at everything."

"I see," said Kogasa. And she really did, though she wished she didn't. The image Sanae's words had conjured up in her mind gave her goosebumps.

"After a while, we found out that all of the duels were supposed to be done with danmaku, and exterminations meant simple beat-ups. But Lady Kanako...she was determined to make the youkai fear her, for them to worship her just like humans, something that was far easier to accomplish with violence. So, she ordered me to keep on exterminating those youkai who refused to submit as long as there was no-one to witness it. Rumours would spread among youkai, but Reimu, indifferent of all other living creatures, would be none the wiser as long I was careful. I obeyed her, like I always did."

"Soon after, Lady Kanako decided to bring technological advancements to Gensoukyou. She thought that by successfully advancing the world would bring her countless new worshippers. Lady Suwako was happy because she missed warm water and electricity. I, too, was happy because I thought modern comforts might alleviate my homesickness." She waved her hand. "Well, you probably know how that incident went. It doesn't matter, anyway. Still, it was then when I first realised Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako don't really belong in Gensoukyou any more than they belonged back in the outside world. Less so, really. Gensoukyou isn't like the past world they yearned for, and now removed from it, they miss the outside world. I think that's why they're trying to change this world more into their liking, so it'd be the perfect world for them; with all the good things of the outside world, but with the values of their youth and enough faith to go around for centuries to come. I realised this, but I refused to think about it. It was easier to just keep doing what they told me to, especially since I was relying on their powers."

"You were? Back when we first met, too?"

"Yes, then too." A faint smile tinged with irony spread on Sanae's face. "In fact, it was soon after that Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako decided I needed to fully unlock my own powers next. They said I needed to grow up, that I couldn't rely on them for the rest of my life. I thought they were joking at first: I mean, even if I was using their powers to fight, isn't that what a shrine maiden's supposed to do, channel the power of the gods? But I figured, if I was to be a proper living god I ought to have power of my own. So I agreed and went ahead with it. I had sworn I'd be a good girl, after all. I fought with my own strength only, waiting for my true powers to be realised. But it didn't work."

"Are you sure?" Kogasa asked, giving Sanae a once-over.

"My current powers, you mean? This happened later." Sanae shook her head. "At first, it didn't work out at all. Lady Suwako even created a mock incident to get my powers to come out of their shell. That finally worked a little, but still not enough for me to stand on my own two feet. So, they sent me out to hunt youkai. Prey on the weak, they said, prey on the ones who refuse to honour us. Bring forth miracles that bring glory to the Moriya shrine."

"And I did. Of course I did. I wanted them to be proud. I wanted to be worthy of their trust. I wanted to be a legitimate living deity, not a second-rate priestess that a godless shrine maiden like Reimu could trounce at every opportunity. So, I made another oath."

Kogasa took a deep breath as her apprehension grew. "What was it this time?"

"I swore I wouldn't return until I had fully mastered my powers. Until I could use my miracles whenever I pleased, and to dispatch all foes foolish enough to stand in my way." A faint smile briefly crossed her face, quickly replaced by a frown. "It was almost fun, actually. I ate at the human village, and Reimu's shrine, and Marisa's place, and sometimes I just foraged what food I could find in the wild. I slept beneath the stars whenever the weather would allow it; by then, I already had a serious reputation among the youkai, and no-one would harass me no matter where I would crash. And that reputation only kept growing."

"How long ago was this?"

"It started about a month ago, I believe. It was a half moon then, too." Sanae shook her head. "To be honest, I lost track of time. I barely noticed days passing by until three nights ago..." Her voice petered out.

Kogasa leaned forward, anxious to discover the cause behind the wild hunt. "What happened?"

Sanae swallowed audibly. "Reimu and Marisa cornered me. I don't know how it happened. I must have been too careless, too confident that they either wouldn't notice or care. But apparently, the rumours had reached them, because there they were, telling me I had gone too far, that at the rate I was going at I'd exterminate all youkai. I told them to shut up, that the orders of my goddesses mattered more than their opinion. We kept arguing, and...I got angry. Irrationally angry, I realise now. I thought they were being self-righteous, that the way they dealt with incidents wasn't really that different from what I was doing. Anyway, my anger boiled over, and before I knew it, Marisa...Marisa was lying on the ground, bleeding." She began to shiver again. "I didn't mean to hurt her, I really didn't, but when Reimu turned to me and looked at me with eyes cold as death there was nothing I could say."

"I fled. I fled back to the mountains. But then, Lady Kanako and Lady Suwako...Even they thought I had gone too far and turned me away. They said I was, they said I had become..." her words were interrupted by a sob. She wiped her eyes swiftly before covering them again. "I didn't believe what they said. That it could happen to me, let alone without my knowledge...it was beyond my comprehension. I refused to believe them, and I thought I could prove them I was still the perfect shrine maiden if I kept going."

"And that's when the hunt began in earnest," said Kogasa.

Sanae nodded weakly.

There was a moment of silence. Then, Kogasa spoke quietly: "There's still one thing I don't understand."

"What is it?"

"Why did you spare me? You said you didn't want to exterminate youkai, but I don't understand why you changed your mind seemingly out of nowhere."

Sanae took a deep breath. "I saw my reflection in your eyes."

She removed her hands from her eyes, revealing her blood-red irises. Kogasa looked on, unsure how to respond. She had noticed the changes already, the incontestable proof that Sanae had left the human race behind and joined the ranks of youkai, but she would never have guessed she had played any part in Sanae's realisation, no matter how indirectly.

"I still can't believe it, truth to be told." Sanae continued, her voice barely louder than a whisper. "I have no idea when it happened, or even how it happened. Reimu said something about my actions corrupting my humanity before...you know, but I took it as a meaningless warning rather than as a statement of a fact. I suppose it doesn't matter how or when, though," she sighed, tears gathering in her eyes. "It doesn't change a fact I've become a monster."

Kogasa couldn't help but cringe. "Being a youkai isn't that bad. It's not like you have to go around killing humans if you don't want to. I certainly don't. In fact, I've never met a youkai who hasn't been happy the way they are."

Sanae looked directly at her. "Are you happy the way you are?"

"Well..." Kogasa hesitated. "My situation isn't that great an example...but honestly, I like being what I am. It's fun being a youkai. When I'm not risking being killed or sealed, that is."

Sanae stared at her intently.

"I've made some huge mistakes, haven't I?"

It wasn't a question Kogasa was ready to answer. The truth was evident, but somehow, she felt as if speaking it out loud would make it more real, more damaging. Nor did she want to lie, trivialise Sanae's concerns when she was obviously at a turning point.

"What are you going to do now?" she finally asked, deflecting the question entirely.

"I..." Sanae hugged her knees. "I don't know. What can I do? Reimu will surely come after me, provided she isn't already hunting me down. Even if I can convince her to spare me, I have nowhere to go."

Kogasa looked down on the huddled figure next to her. Before, she had seen a predator, a savage hunter that gave no regard to Kogasa as anything but prey and a nuisance, gleefully chasing after her for the thrill of the hunt rather than any real results. The shadow of this past preconception still lingered in Kogasa's mind, but it no longer dominated the picture. What she saw instead, what she had seen for quite a while and struggled to fully comprehend, was a reflection of herself. An image in a cracked mirror, certainly — she and Sanae had very little in common, after all — but still recognisable. Here was another forgotten soul, adrift and alone, with no longer anyone to call her kin, no ties to connect her to her former world. Unlike Kogasa, she had power, and could most likely push onwards and survive without any real complications if her former friends didn't hunt her down. She could go on with her newborn youkai life, just as she had went on her human priestess life. But what kind of a life would that be?

She sighed and rose, not really believing what she was about to do despite knowing it would be done. Certainly, she had surprised herself more often during the last few hours than she had surprised anyone during her her life. Her hand shook a little as she extended it downwards, but she steeled her will and stilled it. Sanae first looked at the hand, then at Kogasa with glassy eyes, uncomprehending.

"You can come with me," said Kogasa, quiet but determined. Before the moment, her stomach had been churning up, but as the words rang in her ears they brought along with them a strange calm. It was as if the words were a magic spell, one that removed her from the real world and allowed her to see her surroundings through an outsider's eyes, with no fear in regards of consequences. Or perhaps, subconsciously, she still considered her life forfeit and herself as Sanae's helpless prey, and her previous acceptance of her extermination resurfaced once more. Whatever it was, she remained perfectly still as understanding slowly dawned on Sanae's face, her mouth falling open, her red eyes bulging out.

"You-you mean..." she stammered, her eyes darting between Kogasa's face and her extended hand. She gulped for air. Her hands dug into the hem of her skirt. "No. You can't possibly mean that." Her voice was firm, but with a quivering undercurrent.

"I do mean it," Kogasa replied, refusing to allow remorse to seep in. The decision had been made, the words spoken. She would not take them back. As much as the thought terrified her, she would not abandon this miserable wretch the way the world had abandoned her. She blushed slightly. "That is, if you don't mind coming with me. I don't exactly have a place to stay in, or even a plan. But I thought that maybe together, it might be a little easier. I can try talking to Reimu if she shows up, at least. But, really, I don't mind if you don't want to, I just thought if you couldn't think of anything—"

Her ramblings were interrupted by a lithe, but surprisingly strong hand firmly grabbing hers, momentarily throwing her off balance. Sanae eased her pull the moment she saw the surprised look on Kogasa's face, but wouldn't let go, gripping the smaller hand like a drowning man clinging to plywood. Fresh tears welled in her eyes, but she hastily wiped them away.

"You are..." she paused, no doubt shocked at the sudden hoarseness of her voice, then coughed and tried again. "You..." words failed her once again. Instead of a third attempt, she dropped onto her knees and pushed her forehead against Kogasa's knuckles, eyes downcast, second hand joining the first around Kogasa's hand. Kogasa stared on in amazement, wondering not for the first time if she ought to say something, when Sanae spoke once again, or more accurately mumbled: "I don't deserve this."

"What?"

"I don't deserve this. I've wronged you before, many many times. I have hurt you. I very nearly killed you. And now, not only did you listen to my woes, not only did you comfort me, but now you offer to save me?"

"I wouldn't call it 'saving you' per se," Kogasa mumbled, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

Sanae laughed, but it was laughter entirely without mirth. "That's exactly what you're offering, and you don't even notice! You're so..." she pushed her forehead further down and shuddered. "How can I have been so blind? How could I not see any youkai for what they are? How could I not see you? How could I," her words were suddenly dripping with disgust, "how could I dismiss you so blithely? How could I consider you a lesser being, when you are so kind, so merciful, so good..."

"You mistake me for a saint," Kogasa protested, now heavily blushing. "It's not like I've ever done this before..."

But Sanae kept clinging to her hand, now weeping openly once more. "I am...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry for everything..."

Kogasa hesitated. She was about to carelessly say it didn't matter, that Sanae's actions had never hurt her and that there was nothing to apologise for, anything to stop Sanae from crying. But it would have been a lie, and Sanae, she felt, deserved more than that after such a candid account of her past. Still, she had to say something, and something truthful at that.

"I forgive you," she all but whispered, uncertain if Sanae would even hear her over her sobbing. But evidently she did, as she froze at the sound of the words, the tremors shaking her body now so strong they made Kogasa's arm shake as well.

"I'll make it up to you," Sanae muttered, more than a trifle desperately. "I'll do anything you say to make it up to you. I don't deserve forgiveness without some compensation for my past deeds."

"It's okay," said Kogasa, now a little scared. "I forgive it all. I absolve you. If you still feel the need to compensate for your actions, do it to others, not me."

Sanae shook her head. "At least let me do something," she all but begged. "Some way I can actually earn your forgiveness."

Kogasa smiled sadly. "You can't earn something I give to you freely." This now felt like a bizarre dream, all of it. Perhaps all she had experienced during the last few days was actually a nightmare that had metamorphosed into something more hopeful after she had been unable to cope? Or perhaps Sanae had actually killed her and she was merely hallucinating as her soul traversed towards Sanzu river? But no, Sanae's grip, while lighter now as she leaned back and slowly gotten up her feet, remained as solid and firm as ever. Somehow, this was all real. Even her words of forgiveness seemed almost tangible in the air, like a cool breeze driving away the oppressive atmosphere that tortured Kogasa during her darker moods.

Once Sanae had risen to her full height, she let go with one hand and still clasped Kogasa's with the other, almost shyly now. "Would it really be okay if I came with you?"

And finally, Kogasa found she could both look Sanae in the eye and smile. "Yes."

"Even if Reimu—"

"Yes. I may not be able to do much in regards of her, but I will try. It can't hurt, anyway."

"No," Sanae said at length, "I suppose not."

Kogasa squeezed Sanae's hand. "It'll all turn out alright in the end. I'm sure of it."

Sanae shook her head, but squeezed back regardless.

No further words were necessary. Silently, still hand in hand, the two youkai, once hunter and prey, now whatever the future would bring along, rose to the air and set their sights a the horizon, where the dawning sun could be seen from beneath the retreating clouds.


End file.
